I guess this happens to all of us at some point in our lives... the dreaded rejection letter. No one likes to be on the receiving end, right?
In January, I worked hard all month long, designing and prepping and filling out an overly long and detailed application to sell my things at the downtown farmers market this summer. I made plans. I had the dates in my calendar - in ink. I wanted to spend the summer working on the creative part of my little business, take a step away from depending on an adjunct paycheck... and get more involved in my neighborhood all at the same time.
I'm not exaggerating when I tell you, my application to Yale was easier than this one. It was ridiculous, the hoops I was trying to jump through to make this happen.
And then, I waited for their approval.
I waited for a month. And finally, this past Friday, I received a rather impersonal and terse rejection email. My application had been officially denied.
The thing is, whole books are written about dealing with rejection... writers especially love to talk about their many rejections. I read an article recently on break-ups. Our relational lives are not immune to very similar rejections. I think the old saying, "It's not you. It's me," has some truth to it, but it isn't any less harsh.
The truth is, the timing is wrong or we want different things or our styles are just too different...
When I look at it this way, and I know that I have submitted my best work, I can't really take the rejection personally. I can let this door close and know that there is another way I haven't thought of yet. But, I will find it.
They call it Plan B.
B for better... B for bigger? Who knows! When I land on it, I'll let you know. I'm learning the tricky part of rejection (at least for me), is to allow myself to grieve the loss of all my plans and stop the negative self talk before it gets out of hand. Remembering the truth about myself is harder in these moments.
So, here's your chance... Journal Prompt #27: What has been your biggest rejection? Why was it so devastating? What did you learn from it? No wrong answers here! Let it all out!
This is Not the End,