When introducing yourself

I've found myself having to introduce myself a lot lately. (This is all about myself) I've also been doing some research on writing book proposals and query letters... they all ask for the same thing. A short Bio. I've been trying to write a Bio for myself but I have found that I am much better at Bio writing for other people. 

Here is my first stab at it:

Amie is mostly right handed and sometimes ambidextrous. Amie is sort of a hypochondriac. Self diagnosed, of course. Amie is full of ideas. This explains the sometimes distant look on her face. Usually, those that meet Amie for the first time end up sharing their entire life story with her and forget to say their name. This makes for an awkward second meeting. Amie should carry name tags with her wherever she goes.

Amie is the oldest child in a rather large family. It goes without saying but I'll mention it here: guidance counseling is a natural fit. Telling people what to do in general works as well. Amie drinks Diet Coke- never coffee- even though her mother thinks Diet Coke should really be labeled "Liquid Satan". But, she does listen to her mother on every other issue.

Amie is unable to have pets (her apartment is cute and she doesn't want to live anywhere else but it is smaller than a normal size mailbox) and should avoid living in humid climates as her hair would be out of control... more so than usual. Amie is more of a morning person. She can read and write and speak, knit and paint and sing and dance, she even makes it to work on time. She can fry an egg but always burns the toast. She can climb mountains and leap tall buildings in a single bound. Did I mention that Amie comes from a long line of exaggerators?

 

So, that's what I have so far... Any thoughts?